Identity Crisis
by Minako-chan2
Summary: Usagi falls in love with two men at the same time that Mamoru falls in love with two women. Mamoru realizes things are not as complicated as they seem, and it's up to Usagi to come to the same realization!
1.

Identity Crisis   
PROLOGUE  
By Minako-chan  
----------------  
Disclaimer: don't own SM  
----------------  
  
'Blue eyes...  
Midnight blue, actually...  
Ebony, silky hair.  
Yeah the kind that falls messily over his eyes.  
High cheekbones.  
Pointy nose.  
And those kissable lips...  
Well-defined body, though well-defined is an understatement.  
One bad thing about him though.  
One major turn off...  
.............  
............  
...........  
..........  
.........  
........  
.......  
......  
.....  
....  
...  
..  
.  
His personality doesn't match his looks!'  
  
Usagi sat at her desk again, wrinkling her nose and playing with her hair   
while chewing on her pencil.  
  
"Usagi, do your homework." Luna said, obviously annoyed.  
  
"Luna," Usagi turned around at her feline companion, with a voice so gentle  
that surprised Luna, "do you like Artemis very much?"  
  
Luna screeched and hid her face with a paw. Looking away, her eyes carried  
a far-away look as she cleared her throat.  
  
"That is something that you shouldn't be thinking about, Usagi, while you're  
doing your homework." Luna said, uncomfortable with the topic.  
  
"You never answered my question, Luna." Usagi replied softly, walking over  
to the window sill where Luna sat.  
  
"Because it's not important." Luna looked away again.  
  
"How can you say that, Luna? Everything about love is important!" Usagi  
gasped at Luna's reply.  
  
"I just don't see why I'd have to carry my heart on my sleeve. Usagi,   
we have a mission here. Like it or not, we can't be distracted by  
these strange emotions." Luna reasoned with Usagi, and deep down, with  
herself.  
  
"So you do like Artemis." Usagi whispered, smiling.  
  
"I never said that." Luna began to feel a little defensive.  
  
"You never said you don't either! AHA!" Usagi grinned, proud of her own  
point. Luna sighed and looked down at the floor, suddenly finding the   
carpet very interesting.  
  
"Luna," Usagi said gently and lifted Luna's chin with her finger, "I  
didn't ask you to tease you about it. I asked you because..."  
  
"Because...?" Luna beckoned.  
  
"Because I'm beginning to feel the same way toward someone. Actually,  
two men..."  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Chapter One: Two Men, a Rose, and a Mission  
  
-------------------------------------------  
  
It was impossible, Usagi thought to herself, how she could  
feel attracted to two different men. These situations happen  
in soap operas, she thought, but not to me! To make matters  
worse, these two men were complete opposites. If they were  
similar, perhaps at least Usagi could choose between them.  
  
One man she liked in her life as a normal teenager; the   
other she was falling in love with but beyond her reach.  
  
One man made her happy with a simple smile or miserable with  
a tease; the other offered words of inspiration when she was  
down, but was colder than ice. Somehow, she was falling in  
love with the latter. Perhaps it was because of his mysterious  
demeanor, but then again, the first was just as unpredictable.  
  
Mamoru and Tuxedo Kamen.  
Mamoru and Tuxedo Kamen.  
Mamoru and...  
  
"Tuxedo Kamen?" Luna exclaimed, interrupting Usagi's thoughts,  
"You are attracted to him? Usagi, he may not even be on our   
side, for all we know."  
  
"That doesn't stop me from feeling this way about him." Usagi  
trailed off.  
  
"I suggest you stop romanticizing about this 'masked hero' of  
yours...just because he comes in the nick of time with a few  
sharp roses doesn't exactly make him the perfect man." Luna  
snorted bitterly.  
  
"It's nothing about that at all, Luna," Usagi looked outside  
the window, her attention fixated on the full moon. The  
bright light brought tears to her eyes, but she wasn't so  
sure if that was the reason why her eyes were watering.  
  
Luna continued to mutter. "Well I think it is...it seems the  
other girls are swooning over him too, except for Ami. I'm   
glad at least one of you is sensible enough."  
  
Usagi turned toward her, shocked at the bitterness in her  
voice. When Usagi did not recoil, like she normally would,  
Luna felt ashamed at her speech.  
  
"Usagi," she sighed, "I am sorry, but that's the way it  
seems to me. You have got to understand that we must find  
this moon princess. It is obvious that Tuxedo Kamen knows  
something about the matter, but he is not giving us any  
information that we need. Usagi, are you even listening  
to me? Usagi?" Luna hopped into Usagi's lap and gasped  
as Usagi shook lightly with sobs. "Oh, Usagi."  
  
"I try to tell myself that, Luna, I really do...then why  
do I feel like I've known him all my life? Why do I feel  
so confused? And how can he be so cold to me?"  
  
She continued to sob as Luna sat in her lap, unable to  
speak without hurting her anymore than she already had.  
Somehow, Luna mused, Usagi was attracted to the masked   
man on a different level than the silly girls all over  
Tokyo, but why, Luna just couldn't tell. With so much  
on her mind, Luna had forgotten that Usagi had mentioned  
there were two important men in this dilemma. She never  
questioned Usagi, and Usagi did not seem to be able to   
bring up the topic again after that night.  
  
------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  



	2. Final Argument - End of All Innocent Exc...

Identity Crisis  
Chapter Two: Final Argument - End of All Innocent Exchange?  
By Minako-chan  
-----------------------------------------------------------  
  
A bell above the door chimed as Usagi entered the all-too-  
familiar arcade. Her blue eyes scanned the crowd for  
Motoki, one of her best friends, but widened when her eyes  
focused on the back of the head of someone she had been   
thinking about that day at school. Of course he is here,  
she thought to herself, why feel so surprised? Gathering  
her courage, and with as much dignity as possible, she   
glided through a group of teenagers with as much grace  
as she could and plopped into a stool in front of Motoki.  
  
"Hello Motoki!" Usagi beamed with her cheeks pink from   
the sun.  
  
"Usagi-chan, the usual?" Motoki winked and smiled.  
  
"Yup!" Usagi smiled and moved around in her seat, feeling  
uncomfortable that her feet did not reach the ground. This  
did not go unnoticed by Mamoru, who was sipping his coffee,  
but watching the blonde with the corner of his eyes, a smile  
on his lips.  
  
"Okay, a double-fudge sundae coming right up! Cherry on top,  
of course, just as you like it." Motoki winked again and   
disappeared behind a machine so high that it blocked his  
height completely.  
  
"It's no wonder you can't walk properly, Odango-Atama, with  
all that fudge weighing your feet down." Mamoru smirked.  
  
Usagi's smile died on her lips instantly.  
  
"It's no wonder you have bad breath, with all that black  
coffee you drink." She stuck her tongue out at him.  
  
"Hey, coffee lets me stay up late when I study, which is  
something you should consider doing. You can't pass school  
getting a 30% on every test, you know!" Mamoru's grin widened.  
Usagi was furious, her face flushed red and tears were   
already rolling down her cheeks.   
  
"Everytime I see you, Mamoru-baka, I wonder why I wasn't   
born with enough middle fingers." She hissed angrily.  
  
As if on cue, Motoki reappeared with a giant bowl of ice cream  
in his hands, saving the day! (or so it seems...)  
  
"Hey, Usagi-chan, this is extra large and on the house to   
celebrate your first 'A' in algebra, I thought you'd---"  
Motoki paused, looking up from Usagi's red eyes to Mamoru's   
smirk, then back to Usagi's eyes. "Oh brother. Not again."  
  
"What? What did you just say? An 'A'? Odango-atama actually  
got an 'A' on something?" Mamoru slapped his cheeks, pretending  
to faint at any moment.  
  
Usagi smiled weakly at Motoki, grateful for his kindness. As she  
took the bowl of ice cream, she smeared it onto Mamoru's chest.  
  
"And that," she said calmly through gritted teeth, "is something  
I've wanted to do to that ugly, green blazer of yours for a   
-very- long time." With that said, she held her head up high and  
left the arcade, ignoring the stares and snickering she was  
receiving from the crowd around her.  
  
"Well, well, well." Motoki began and removed the empty, sticky bowl  
which was clinging to Mamoru's jacket. "I've always told you to get  
a new jacket."  
  
"Shut up." Mamoru muttered as he peeled off his favorite blazer.  
  
"Don't tell me you didn't deserve it. After all, the girl was  
walking on air with that 'A'. She was so proud and you had to step  
right in and ruin her moment."  
  
"Thanks, are you sure you're my best friend?"  
  
Motoki chuckled. "Why are you always so mean to that girl anyway?  
I can't find anything wrong in her that I can possibly hate."  
  
"I never said I hate her." Mamoru mumbled beneath his breath.  
  
"Then..." realization dawned upon Motoki's face, "you like her, don't  
you?" He leaned forward so that only Mamoru could hear. When only   
panic showed in Mamoru's eyes, Motoki threw his head back with a  
laugh.  
  
"I knew it!" He smiled triumphantly, but frowned as Mamoru's face  
paled.  
  
"What is it?" He asked.  
  
"She hates me." Mamoru dropped his head onto the counter with a  
'clunk'.  
  
"Hey Mamoru, listen to me." Motoki spoke only a little louder than   
a whisper. Mamoru looked up, surprised at the secretive tone. "If   
she is so greatly affected by your words, then she either hates you  
with a vengeance, or cares about you deeply. And may I please give  
you a hint, Mamoru-BAKA," Motoki smiled at the use of Usagi's nick  
name for him, and secretly beginning to find it fitting, "Usagi is  
incapable of hating -anyone-."  
  
Swinging the towel over his shoulder, Motoki disappeared behind   
another machine, leaving a confused Mamoru behind with blank eyes.  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  



	3. More Than Words

Identity Crisis  
Chapter 3: More Than Words  
By Minako-chan  
----------------------------  
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon.  
----------------------------  
  
Usagi looked at the water below her, her tears causing tiny  
ripples as they landed. Her bangs flew in her eyes, blocking  
her vision with her tears. She wiped them away with the back  
of her hand ungracefully.  
  
That man, she thought sadly, hates me! Why else will he tease   
me so much? And why does it hurt so badly?  
  
Mamoru saw her petite figure from far away. The small, fragile  
form trembling with each sob. His heart sank. Questions arose  
in his mind. Did he really hurt her that much? Did he really   
have that big of an effect on her?  
  
"Odan---Usagi..." he cleared his throat nervously, his palms  
already getting sweaty as he waited for her response. Wailing,  
stomping of feet, spitting of angry words, screaming, anything  
of the sort.  
  
Usagi turned to look at him with glassy eyes and a red nose.   
She turned back to look down at the water.  
  
Nothing. Mamoru felt beyond surprised as he swallowed a lump  
in his throat. He felt a little more guilty too.  
  
"Usagi?" He whispered and placed a warm hand on her shoulder.   
She shuddered and he stepped back instinctively, jerking his  
hand away.  
  
"Don't. Touch. Me. Mamoru." She commanded calmly through grinding  
teeth, spitting out his name a way she had never done before.  
  
Mamoru gulped. Was this the same girl who beamed a radiant smile  
to everyone? At this moment, he preferred to be called 'baka',   
her usual nickname for him.  
  
"I...just want to apologize for what I said, Usagi. I know I was  
really rude and ---"  
  
"Tell Motoki-san I really appreciate his efforts for trying to   
get us to be civil. But really, Mamoru," she said his name the  
way that made him shiver again, "just...just save it."  
  
"What? No, Motoki didn't tell me to apologize. I did it on my  
own. Really, Usagi. I am sorry for what happened. I didn't mean  
what I said."  
  
"Really, so everything is a joke to you, is that it?" Disappointment  
was in her voice.  
  
"They were only words, Usagi."  
  
"In other words, jokes." She laughed sadly. "I'll tell you right now,  
people's feelings aren't jokes. To think a smart college guy like you  
would have figured that out by now."  
  
"I realized that. That's why I want to apologize."  
  
"You think everything is so simple, Mamoru, that I pity you."  
  
"What?" Mamoru's patience was wearing thinner by the minute.  
  
"You think that your charms or wits will win you over. You think  
just by saying you're sorry you will be forgiven. But you know what?  
The wound is still there. It's like you stab someone with a knife.  
Sure, the pain will go after a while, but there will be a scar. You  
can't just waltz in and make people care about you, then turn your   
back on them."  
  
"You...you care about me?" He whispered.  
  
"That's not important." She retorted, trying Luna's tactics. She did   
not need to reveal her feelings for him. It was not the right moment.  
  
"It is."  
  
Usagi looked up into his eyes filled with sincerity. "Why?"  
  
"Because I care about you."  
  
Usagi's mind suddenly screamed. She didn't need to feel more confused  
than she already did. A moment ago, she had been certain that she had  
crossed Mamoru off her mind and that for certain she had her whole   
heart set on Tuxedo Kamen. In reality, she was so hurt, not because  
of Mamoru's words, but because she had decided to give up on Mamoru.  
She was disappointed with herself, for giving up on people was not   
something that she had ever done before, and she hated the fact that  
the first person she would be giving up on was Mamoru. But now, Usagi  
did not want to be confused again. She had made a decision, hadn't  
she?  
  
"You don't know the slightest thing about caring for other people,   
Mamoru. You say it because it only sounds nice. I'd like to be   
friends with you, but you need to learn to open up to people first."  
  
Mamoru remained silent, his jaw agape. How could Tsukino Usagi, a   
simple klutzy teenager who seemed to only care about movies, candies   
and boys, possibly know his greatest weakness?  
  
"That's it, isn't it?" Usagi humphed. "You can't, and you won't, open up  
to people." She said more to herself than to him, her heart wrenching,  
disappointed that he would never open up to her.   
  
Mamoru stepped forward once more, cornering the petite blonde between  
the railing of the bridge and himself, his eyes boring into hers. He  
realized at that moment, he needed her. He needed someone who cared  
and understood him completely. And he had found her, much to his luck.  
Usagi looked up into his intense eyes, frightened, not because she   
thought he would hurt her, somehow she knew he never would, but because   
of her overwhelming emotions and her confusion that she thought she had  
cleared only moments ago. He grabbed her shoulders, tightened his hold  
on her, and shook her lightly.  
  
"Usagi, stop...stop trying to read my mind. I can't deny that I'm not  
great at opening up to people, but when I said I care about you, I   
meant it. Damnit, Usagi, listen to me!" He shook her as he trembled  
himself from his emotions surfacing.  
  
Usagi had the temptation of throwing her weak arms around him and kiss   
away his fears. She could feel them. She understood. Despite the fact  
that she had a happy family and many friends surrounding her, sometimes  
she just felt so...alone. The fear of having to save everyone in Tokyo  
and possibly the world and living up to everyone's expectations was  
not the easiest to live with. She saw the same loneliness reflected in   
his eyes.  
  
As he slowly bent down, brushing his lips lightly against hers,   
Usagi pushed him away as he was about to deepen the kiss. She   
tried to convince herself that he was only vulnerable at the moment,   
and he would treat her the same way he always had before after the  
moment ended. She didn't need to have her heart broken again.  
  
Hurt was evident in his eyes. She looked away, feeling more and   
more guilty, wondering if she had done the most stupid thing in her   
life.  
  
"I'm sorry, Mamoru. It takes more than words, more than a kiss, to  
make someone care. You have to learn to let people in your life   
first." She wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly missing his  
warmth.  
  
"That was what I'm trying to do, Usagi...I want you in my life, I   
want to open up to you." He whispered and reached out a hand.  
  
Usagi stared at the strong hand, his fingers trembling slightly.   
She swallowed.  
  
"Gomen, Mamoru, but...I'm already in love with someone else." She   
choked on her words and sprinted away, knowing that she could never   
take those words back. She ran, never once looking back to see his   
collapsing form in a heap on the bridge, with the cool breeze stirr-  
ing up dry dead autumn leaves, surrounding him in a colourless mass.  
  
-------------------------  
  
A.N.: Thank you for reading this part! I hope you've enjoyed it! Stay   
tuned for the next chapter: Chapter 4 -- Heroes Need Heroes Too  
  
Send all comments to me at cupid_teacup@hotmail.com  
Thank you^_^  



	4. Heroes Need Heroes, Too

Identity Crisis  
Chapter 4: Heroes Need Heroes, Too  
By Minako-chan  
------------------------------------  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
The sailor-suited heroines dodged the youma without trouble,   
all but Sailor Moon. When the senshi sought safety in one  
direction, she went the other, coming face to face with the  
attacks of the younma instead at times. This did not go  
unnoticed by a masked man hidden in the shadows, waiting for  
the chance to save the leader of the group. With almost  
effortless attacks, fortunately, the youma was not as strong  
as it seemed and was destroyed by the other four senshi with  
their planetary powers.  
  
A gloved hand on her shoulder brought Sailor Moon back to   
reality.  
  
"What's wrong? Why were you so distracted tonight?" Sailor   
Jupiter asked her softly.  
  
"Baka, you should have paid closer attention! You could have  
been killed!" Sailor Mars cried, throwing her fists in air,  
tears about to fall from worries of her friend.  
  
Sailor Moon looked up at the moon and didn't respond.  
Tuxedo Kamen moved behind a wall immediately on a rooftop,   
afraid she would spot him.  
  
"What is it?" Sailor Venus asked gently, and wrapped an arm  
around Sailor Moon's shoulder.  
  
"Why didn't he come when I most needed him?" Sailor Moon   
whispered, more to the moon than to her friends.  
  
"Him? You mean Tuxedo Kamen?" Sailor Mercury said. Sailor   
Moon did not reply.  
  
He gasped from a distance. He could hear the hurt and   
disappointment in her voice...it sounded so much like  
Usagi's...no, it can't be, he thought as he brought his  
gloved hands to his temples. He just could not fight  
this night, knowing he was distracted that he might  
have brought even more danger to the senshi. In truth,  
he was in denial with himself. He couldn't help Sailor  
Moon because he couldn't even help himself. He was not  
the masked hero all females in Tokyo swooned over or  
that the police loved and hated; deep down he was a   
scared child, afraid to let people into his life, just   
like Usagi had pointed out earlier in the afternoon.  
  
"Minna?" Sailor Moon called out weakly without turning  
away from the direction of the moon. "If you don't mind,  
I'd like to go home alone tonight."  
  
The four senshi exchanged worried glances and nodded  
reluctantly. When their leader wanted to be alone,  
obviously something important must be bothering her,  
but she would tell them only when she was ready.  
  
The slumping shoulders of the blonde hero carried  
herself into the night, unaware of the one pair of  
eyes watching her with guilt.  
  
------------------------------------------------------  
  
Still transformed as Sailor Moon, she walked slowly back  
toward her home, briefly stopping at the bridge when she  
had confronted Mamoru earlier. Or was it the other way  
around?   
  
'Gomen, Mamoru, but...I'm already in love with someone   
else.' She thought of her own words.  
  
"Why did you let me down, Tuxedo Kamen?" She whispered as   
he stepped out of the shadows, pacing toward her as quietly  
as a cat.  
  
She could sense his presence. The scent of roses made her  
spin around to face her hero.  
  
"Tux...Tuxedo Kamen?" She called out weakly, her eyes   
shimmering with tears that were threatening to spill.  
  
"Sailor Moon." He acknowledged her, and moved toward her   
without making another sound.  
  
With her blue eyes welling up with tears, Tuxedo Kamen   
could not help but see Usagi's haunting image in front of   
him. Slowly he brought his gloved hand to her cheek.  
  
"I...I'm sorry I let you down..." he choked with emotions,   
for a minute, he did not know whether his words were meant   
for the sailor-suited hero or Usagi. "I'm sorry I didn't  
let you in."  
  
Sailor Moon's heart fluttered wildly. What he said was   
vaguely familiar, but all at once confusing, for they  
had never been this close physically before. Tuxedo Kamen  
was well-known for making quick exits after battles.  
  
No longer able to control his emotions, Tuxedo Kamen closed  
the small gap between their faces, imagining he was kissing  
his little Usagi, the one person he truly wanted. Her head   
swam. Wasn't this what she wanted? Wasn't this the man she  
loved?  
  
Then why was she feeling confused again, and guilty, when  
his lips were on hers?  
  
Abruptly, she pushed him away. Tuxedo Kamen looked at her,  
startled. Both felt deja vu of the event that took place  
earlier. How ironic, he mused, that the same thing happened  
for the second time, at the same spot.  
  
Sailor Moon gazed into his eyes, and for a moment, she saw  
a pained Mamoru staring back at her. Shaking her head sadly,  
she ran off, her tears finally making their way down her  
cheeks. Quickly, Tuxedo Kamen followed, wanting an   
explanation.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------  
  
To Be Continued  
  
  
Author's Notes: WOOOOO! Another part out! *giggles* Hope  
you've enjoyed it. The fic is not as depressing as it  
sounds right now! Well, I hope^_~ I haven't gotten too  
far with it yet. Anyways, send me all comments to:  
cupid_teacup@hotmail.com  
Arigato!  
  
Stay tuned for an Interlude; then Chapter Five:   
Who Do You Love?  



	5. Interlude

Identity Crisis   
INTERLUDE  
By Minako-chan  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
@--)--- I N T E R L U D E ---(--@  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sailor Moon stopped running when she felt he was no longer  
following her. She panted as she looked in all directions. Holding   
up her transformation pen, she detransformed back to her normal self.   
Back to her life temporarily as a normal teenager.  
  
Behind a dumpster, Tuxedo Kamen gasped. Before him stood...  
  
Tsukino Usagi.  
  
How could he have not noticed? The same blue eyes, hair style,   
the same pleading words that shattered his heart - twice this day.  
  
Watching her retreating figure, he followed her until he was   
certain she got home safely. The golden hair that used to shimmer now   
seemed to be a rag dragging behind her. She seemed lifeless. Tired.   
Not from the fight with the youma, but the fight with her heart.  
  
Suddenly remembering Usagi's words and Sailor Moon's confused   
expression when he had kissed her, he realized one thing.  
  
'Gomen, Mamoru...but I'm already in love with someone else.'   
  
Smiling sadly, he realized he was in competition with himself -  
his alter ego. The important question now was, who did she love more?   
The side he wanted people to see, or the side he wanted to hide? Could   
she find it in her heart to love both at the same time?  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Stay tuned for...  
  
Chapter Five: W H O D O Y O U L O V E ?  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------- 


	6. Who Do You Love?

Identity Crisis   
Chapter Five: Who Do You Love?  
By Minako-chan  
-----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Sailor Moon. Sigh.  
  
A.N.: Thanks a bunch to Usagi-chan and Bunny for their endless  
encouragement, as well as Sci-Fi Girl aka Arty^_~ As well as   
Lelu! and everyone else who's e-mailed me to get more parts   
done. So here it is, chapter 5, Who Do You Love? E-mail me at  
cupid_teacup@hotmail.com   
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Usagi stirred her milkshake as Motoki continued going on about   
his previous date with his girlfriend, Reika.  
  
"Usagi-chan? Earth to Usagi!" He waved his hand in front of her  
when she showed no interest, only a slight pout on her lips. No  
reaction, eh? Motoki thought. He grabbed a hold of her straw   
that she was twirling her fingers with.  
  
"Huh?" Usagi said, snapping out of her trance and rubbing her  
red eyes.  
  
"Usagi-chan, what's wrong? You haven't been yourself today, or  
lately, for that matter." Motoki asked gently.  
  
"Nothing." She mumbled.  
  
The bell of the arcade jingled as the sound of footsteps grew  
louder toward them.  
  
"Hi Motoki." A deep, familiar voice greeted that made Usagi's  
insides cringe. "Hi Odango-atama."  
  
Odango atama. Back to the usual bickering, Usagi thought.  
She looked away.  
  
An immediate silence fell between them as Motoki looked from   
his best friend to the small girl. Furrowing his brows,   
Motoki scratched his head, trying to think of something to   
ease the tension.  
  
"Nasty youma attack last night, eh? I heard the four senshi  
dusted the youma easily, but Sailor Moon almost got killed!  
More than once!" He beamed, proud that he had come up with  
one of the most talked-about events of the city.  
  
Usagi winced while Mamoru looked at Motoki, grimacing.   
Surrendering by holding up both hands, Motoki shrugged  
and walked off to another customer. Taking the chance to   
leave, Usagi fumbled through her school bag for some change  
for her drink. Her cheeks flushed redder when she realized  
that she had not been given any allowance yet. Mamoru  
witnessed the situation and smiled at her adorable look  
of concentration as she frantically dug her hands in her   
skirt's pockets.  
  
Growing a little impatient and hurt from knowing how badly  
she wanted to leave him, Mamoru threw a few coins on the   
table and reached out and took a hold of her wrist,   
stopping her actions immediately. She looked up, her  
eyes widening with confusion, sadness, and guilt, and   
jerked her hand away.  
  
"Usagi, we need to talk." Mamoru stood from his stool and  
offered his hand.  
  
Once again, Usagi looked at his hand and gulped.  
  
"Gomen, Mamoru-san, there is nothing there to talk about."  
Usagi inhaled deeply as she tried to retain her emotions;  
instead, she engulfed the strong scent of his cologne -   
the scent of roses. Her knees almost gave in immediately   
when she thought of the other man she loved - the masked  
hero.  
  
"Well then, Usagi, I have to talk, and you just have to   
listen?" He tried again, his voice gentle, as if cooing  
a small child.  
  
"Make it quick then, I'm busy." Usagi said with her  
voice cracking.  
  
"Not here, can we talk somewhere private?" He looked at  
her intensely. She groaned in response, a little louder  
than she had intended it to be. Several heads turned  
curiously in their direction, as Motoki turned and looked  
at Mamoru accusingly.  
  
"Not again." Motoki muttered to himself as he served a  
customer, thinking that his best friend had hurt the  
poor Usagi again.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------  
  
Usagi held onto her school bag tightly, clutching it   
against her chest as she followed Mamoru. The back of  
his head and his figure seemed so familiar. Had she   
seen him elsewhere before and never noticed?  
  
Mamoru turned around and saw her pouting at the back  
of his head. Stopping abruptly to let her catch up,   
she walked right into his chest with a loud "oof!"  
Amused, Mamoru opened his mouth, about to make  
another 'klutz' comment, but quickly decided   
against it. Usagi followed him again silently,   
blushing a bright pink colour.  
  
"Mamoru-san, where are we going? Can't we just talk  
here and get it over with?" She asked impatiently as  
he seemed to be leading her around in circles. He  
stopped then, and ironically they were at the same  
bridge as the previous day.  
  
Usagi took a deep breath as she came to the same  
realization.  
  
"Usagi." He turned around to face her, whispering  
her name softly and placing his hands on her   
shoulders.  
  
Usagi swallowed and tried to avoid looking into  
those hypnotic eyes.  
  
"Usagi..." he tried again, tilting her head to face  
him with his finger. Finally and reluctantly, she   
looked at him and nodded. "I want to know...about  
what you said yesterday. Was it true?"  
  
"Yes, all of it." She gulped.  
  
"So that means you care about me, too." Mamoru  
stated.  
  
"I do, but there are many levels of caring." Usagi  
looked up bravely into his eyes.  
  
"And just how much do you...'care' about me?"  
  
"Not enough to have you keep questioning me about it."  
  
Mamoru smirked. She had raised her voice a little,   
and was glaring at him. Still, he thought she was  
beautiful.  
  
"And," he lowered his head, causing her to move back  
a step, "how much do you 'care' for the other man   
that you mentioned?"  
  
"A lot more than I care about you." Usagi folded her  
arms across her chest and gave him a small 'hmph',  
satisfied with her answer.  
  
"So, at least that man and I are at the same level  
of 'care' then, since you never said anything  
about caring for me and him in different ways."  
He smiled triumphantly.  
  
Usagi stood speechless with her lips parted. Mentally,  
she slapped herself for not being careful enough  
and revealing a little too much.  
  
Carefully, Mamoru placed his hand to her cheek, as if   
any sudden movement would break her. She made no move  
as she continued to look at him with those large,  
wide eyes.  
  
"Usagi," he whispered. She swallowed again, her throat  
getting drier. "What I want to know is..."  
  
She waited as he took a deep breath, the suspense   
killing her. "Who do you love more?"  
  
She blinked as she imagined Tuxedo Kamen asking her  
the same question. She had never betrayed anyone  
before, and quite frankly, she didn't know how to  
answer this question without betraying Mamoru,   
Tuxedo Kamen, or herself. Mamoru received no answer.  
  
Her tears fell.  
  
Somehow, he knew he would not get an answer. It was   
not that Usagi would refuse to tell him, he knew she   
did not even know the answer herself. This did not   
stop him from feeling disappointed, however. He had  
wanted her to say his name, Chiba Mamoru, and not the  
name of his alter ego.  
  
He looked up at the sky with determined eyes as she  
left dejectedly.  
  
"You will love me for -me-." He whispered to her  
retreating figure until she disappeared into a   
crowd.  
  
---------------------------------------------------  
  
Stay Tuned for Chapter 6:  
  
@--)--Dreaming of a Thousand Rose Petals--(--@  
  
---------------------------------------------------  
  
A.N.: Woohoo! Another part done! Did you like it,  
hate it, neither? Send all comments to me at:  
cupid_teacup@hotmail.com  
  
Again, all thanks go to my faithful friends and  
readers, especially Usagi-chan, Bunny, Arty,  
and Lelu!^_^   



	7. Dreaming of a Thousand Rose Petals

Identity Crisis  
Chapter Six: Dreaming of a Thousand Rose Petals  
By Minako-chan  
------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Sailor Moon. *weeps* I   
don't have my own Mamo-chan...wahhh....=(  
  
A.N.: Another one! Aren't you all lucky^_~   
Just kidding! Anyways...this is probably the  
most mushiest part so far for this fic! Hope  
you'd like it! E-mail is good.  
cupid_teacup@hotmail.com  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Usagi, what's wrong?" Luna hopped onto the bed  
as Usagi fluffed the pillow, about to hop in. It's  
much too early for bed, Luna thought, way before  
Usagi's usual bed time.  
  
"Nothing, Luna, just need a little rest. Now if   
you will excuse me..." Usagi replied as she waited  
for Luna to move away from the bed, "I'll call it  
a night. Good night, Luna."  
  
Luna hopped onto Usagi's nightstand and blocked the  
switch to the lamp from Usagi as Usagi reached to   
turn it off.  
  
"Luna, not funny. Move so I can turn it off. I need  
some sleep." She glared at her guardian.  
  
"Usagi, you haven't spoken much since you got back   
from the arcade. Your red eyes and nose didn't go by  
unnoticed either. Your family is concerned and so am  
I. I'm sure the girls would be too if they took a   
look at you right now. What happened today, Usagi?"  
Luna asked in a motherly tone.  
  
"Luna, do you remember our conversation from a while  
back?"  
  
Luna paused, then nodded, though not understanding   
where this was all heading.  
  
"Is it wrong to love someone, Luna?"  
  
Luna shook her head immediately.  
  
"Is it wrong to love two people?"  
  
Luna hesitated, but shook her head again.  
  
"At the same time, Luna."  
  
Luna stopped shaking her head and watched Usagi with  
wide eyes, suddenly remembering the whole conversation.  
  
"Exactly...and if both men happen to share the same  
feelings, and one of them actually wants you to choose  
between them, what would you do? What would you say?"  
Usagi's eyes filled up with tears as she tried to blink  
them away.  
  
"Tuxedo Kamen is making you choose?" Luna gasped. She   
never knew Usagi and him were so close, and that he   
would return her, or rather, Sailor Moon's, love.  
  
Usagi shook her head.  
  
"Then who would---"  
  
"Luna, not right now. I guess I'm not as ready to talk  
about this as I thought." Usagi sobbed, tossing in her  
bed.  
  
"I'm sorry, Usagi. I know how hard this must be for you.  
I never knew that you'd---"  
  
"Please, Luna. I'd like to be alone tonight. Maybe I can  
think this through when I get some rest. I just hope  
there won't be any youmas, for once."  
  
Luna nodded and left the room, worried about her friend  
and the leader of the senshi.  
  
"Then I won't have to see Tuxedo Kamen tonight. It would  
just be too much." Usagi added quietly as the door close.  
  
As she was about to turn off the lamp, she looked out   
and saw the full moon. It was a nice night. Getting   
off the bed, Usagi sat by her windowsill for a while.  
  
She was the envy of all girls in Tokyo, Usagi knew. She   
had dreamed of this very moment, to be the love interest  
of possibly the two most dashing men in the city. But   
reality was not as sweet as her imagination. She had never   
thought about choosing between them. Because by choosing   
one, she'd break two hearts - his and her own.  
  
She opened the window to allow the chilly autumn breeze   
to blow in her hair. Closing her eyes, she hoped the   
breeze would blow some sense into her, to take away the   
horrible confusion that she was feeling.  
  
Outside, a dark figure stood, watching her silouhette  
through the curtains. How serene she seems, he thought,  
sitting so perfectly still by the window.  
  
A moment later, Usagi wearily dragged herself back into  
bed, praying for a peaceful night and a sign to tell her  
what to do.  
  
He waited in the night. The light in her room was turned  
off. The streets grew silent, thought it was still not  
too late. Not to him, at least, being a night person.   
11:36pm, he checked his watch in the dark. When the   
lights to the rest of the house went off, he slowly made   
his way across the lawn.  
  
He didn't transform as Tuxedo Kamen. Not the right moment,  
he thought to himself. And if he did, she might be able  
to sense his presence.  
  
Slowly and surely, Mamoru made his way silently up the   
wall to Usagi's window. Thankful that she had left her   
window opened and for the sound of rustling leaves from   
outside, he climbed into her room almost with no difficulty.  
  
Kneeling by her side, Mamoru was mesmerized by her   
innocence and beauty. Awestruck, he hesitantly brushed   
some bangs away from her face and tucked some loose   
strands behind her ear. She stirred and continued to   
sleep, breathing heavily.  
  
He noticed the tear stains on her cheeks. Carefully, he   
placed a light kiss on her right cheek, since she was   
sleeping on her left side, facing the window.  
  
Placing a hand into the inside pocket of his coat, Mamoru   
held onto a perfect, thornless red rose. He closed his   
eyes and concentrated. He had never done what he was about   
to do, but with enough willpower he hoped it would turn out   
well.  
  
He could hear her breathing rhythmically, pulling the   
blanket over her shoulder as a stronger wind blew outside.  
  
He continued to hold onto the rose in his pocket and   
focused, keeping his eyes closed.  
  
An even stronger wind blew outside, and suddenly, rose   
petals were carried from the wind into the room, covering   
everything in sight, bathing Usagi's bed in red rose petals.  
  
The strong wind and scent of roses woke Usagi up. Blinking   
a few times, her eyes adjusted to the darkness and it took   
her a moment to realize her room was covered with rose   
petals. With wide eyes and jaw agape, Usagi sat up and   
brought the blanket to her mouth, unsure of whether to   
squeal in delight or to pinch herself to wake up from this  
wonderful dream.  
  
Just then, a lone figure came out of the shadows.  
  
Usagi's pulse quickened as her breath caught in her throat,   
but she made no move. Mamoru strolled slowly to her bed  
once again, with his hand still holding onto that perfect  
rose. As he reached the bed, he bent his head down to meet  
hers. No words needed to be spoken as Mamoru caught her   
lips with his own, and Usagi closed her eyes willingly to   
savour the touch. Tears gathered at the corners of her   
eyes, and she knew that if she opened her eyes at that   
moment, the tears would pour. And if she opened her eyes,   
she would wake up from this dream to an empty, dark room.   
She brought her hands to his cheeks, never once opening her   
eyes, and kissed him with equal passion and love. Mamoru   
smiled through his kiss. With his hand still on the rose,   
he concentrated again, this time doing something he had   
done hundreds of times. Never letting his lips leave hers,   
a bright light appeared, he opened his eyes and saw his   
gloved hands cradling Usagi's cheeks.  
  
The bright light brought Usagi to open her eyes instinctively.  
What she saw was truly not what she expected.  
  
Tuxedo Kamen smiled at her through his eyes, as her own   
widened in surprise. In her hands she held the face of   
Tuxedo Kamen, not Chiba Mamoru. The shock pulled Usagi   
away from the kiss.  
  
Holding a single red rose, Tuxedo Kamen offered it to her   
and she hesitantly accepted it with trembling fingers. Once   
more, he kissed her, much gentler this time, and she   
closed her eyes.  
  
He knew how confused she was. But certainly, he thought,   
this might tell her that her decision was not as difficult   
to make as she thought. Pushing her back into bed, Tuxedo   
Kamen pressed his fingers lightly on her eyelids and wiped   
the teardrops away. He then planted a gentle kiss on each   
eyelid and watched her lovingly as she fell back to sleep.  
  
Closing his eyes again, he concentrated as the wind   
carried the rose petals out the window. The perfect  
red rose he gave her faded into thin air as well. With one  
last glance at her sleeping form, Tuxedo Kamen leapt out   
the window, retreating to the comfort of his own bed,  
this time certain that he would be having sweet dreams.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Stay Tuned for Chapter 7: A Dream is Still Just a Dream  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------  
  
A.N. YAY! ANOTHER one done! *wipes sweat from brow* That was  
hard work, I tell ya^_~ I hope you've liked reading this part!  
Personally...don't laugh please...I actually DREAMED of this   
scene! NOT KIDDING! I did! And it's rare because I NEVER   
remember dreams. So I wrote it down right away! I know it's  
cheesy, but I thought it was the most romantic thing! Maybe  
you just had to see my dream...*drools at the thought of  
rose petals and Tuxedo Kamen* *coughs* Ahem. anyways,   
e-mail would be nice^_^ cupid_teacup@hotmail.com  
  
Anyways, thanks to everyone who's mailed me and kept me  
going! You know who you are^_~ 


	8. A Dream is Still Just a Dream

Identity Crisis  
Chapter 7: A Dream Is Still Just A Dream  
By Minako-chan  
--------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. *sigh*  
  
A.N.: Hello all! It's me again! I've finally written this  
part (by hand). Thanks to everyone who's written me and  
those who've read the fic! I hope you'd like this part...  
hopefully it'll be concluded soon^_^;; For now it's still  
moving at the same pace...e-mail me at cupid_teacup@hotmail.com  
Arigato!  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Usagi awoke to bright sunlight entering her room through the  
gaps between her curtains. A smile was on her lips but she  
never noticed.  
  
"You look well today, Usagi." Luna walked into the room   
slowly after waiting outside the door for an hour.  
  
"What?" Usagi stretched and rubbed her eyes, which were no   
longer red and puffy.  
  
"You're smiling, and last night you looked like it was the   
end of the world." Luna said, amused at Usagi's lack of  
memory.  
  
Luna's words brought Usagi back to reality and reminded her  
the events that had taken place during the past few days and  
emotions that had collapsed onto Usagi's heart. She let out  
a soft gasp and brought her hand to her mouth.  
  
"Don't tell me you already forgot, baka." Luna chuckled at  
Usagi's shocked expression, then her tone softened. "Usagi,  
I'm glad that you're fine again. The girls and I have been  
very worried."  
  
Usagi looked around the room desperately, then at the window.  
The window was closed. Odd, she thought, I thought I'd left  
it open. She ducked underneath the covers and her hands ran  
over the soft bed sheet, searching for any trace of rose  
petals. There was none. Luna watched her with amusement in  
her eyes.  
  
Breathing heavily, Usagi sat up in bed and closed her eyes,   
inhaling deeply. Was it just her or was the scent of roses  
still lingering in the air?  
  
"Luna?" She breathed.  
  
"Yes?" Luna raised an eyebrow. (A.N. Okay it's an imaginary  
brow, okay? I suppose it's hard for a cat to raise an eyebrow...  
but sheesh, cats in RL don't talk anyway^_~)  
  
"Did...did someone come into my room last night?" Usagi  
trembled slightly and crossed her fingers. She did not know  
whether she wished Mamoru and Tuxedo Kamen were there or  
not.  
  
"No, I didn't hear anything at all. And you know I'm not a   
heavy sleeper." Luna replied, puzzled. "Why do you ask?"  
  
"It's just that...I-I smell roses. I thought maybe someone  
brought them in for me..." Her voice trailed off as she  
looked at the closed window.  
  
Luna tilted her head and stifled a chuckle. "You're being  
silly, Usagi, if anyone had brought in roses, you would at  
least see them right now."  
  
"But I---" Usagi protested.  
  
"I think," Luna interrupted, "you've been thinking about   
Tuxedo Kamen way too much. You were just dreaming, Usagi."  
  
"Dreaming..." Usagi whispered. She could only nod. How   
would Tuxedo Kamen know her real identity? How did Mamoru  
get in her room? She rubbed her temples and closed her eyes.  
  
But it had felt so real...  
  
She brought her trembling fingers to her lips and shivered,  
and definitely not from disgust.  
  
Her lips still tingled.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Mamoru awoke almost at noon when the sun poured its light to  
fill the darkness of his room. A smile was playing on his  
lips. His eyes widened when he saw the time on his alarm  
clock. Half a day was gone, and normally he would have   
accomplished much by this hour.  
  
He walked into the bathroom, slightly dazed from his newly-  
found knowledge and feelings that had developed and surfaced  
overtime.  
  
Would she get it now? That the two men whom she claimed to  
love were one and the same? Just like her and her alter ego?  
And even though she might think it was all a dream, would  
she still begin to suspect that he and Tuxedo Kamen shared  
the same qualities - both physically and emotionally? He   
looked into the mirror before splashing his face with cold  
water.  
  
He prayed that she would not dismiss the possibility and   
move on. He prayed that she, too, would be ecstatic at the   
idea of him being the masked hero, like how he felt when he   
first found out about her identity. But one question still   
remained...  
  
Would she feel disappointed if and when she found out?  
  
When the question arose in his mind once more, doubts returned.  
The previous night he had had so much confidence. He was so   
sure that when she put two and two together, they would live  
happily ever after. He had been so occupied with sorting out  
his own feelings that he had failed to think about how she  
would feel.  
  
He left the cold water running from the tap as he stared at   
his own reflection.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------  
  
A very tired Minako dragged a reluctant Usagi into the arcade.  
  
"C'mon, Usagi-chan! What's wrong with you? I thought you love  
this place!" Minako wailed as she continued to tug on Usagi's  
sleeve.  
  
"Only because I thought I love someone..." Usagi mumbled but  
Minako was being too loud wailing that she had missed Usagi's  
reply.  
  
The bell above their heads announced their arrival as Minako  
threw a radiant smile at Motoki as a greeting. A dark head  
raised to acknowledge their presence and Usagi almost winced  
seeing him.  
  
He was about to drink his coffee, but the mug never reached  
his lips. Usagi watched him as memories of their previous  
encounters played in her mind. They gazed into each other's  
eyes across the room for merely a few seconds, but the   
gaze was so intense that it sent Usagi looking away and   
Mamoru to put down his untouched drink abruptly. No one   
seemed to have noticed except for the all-knowing Minako,  
who nodded and smiled to herself.  
  
How her heart ached at the sight of him. The messy hair   
fell over the eyes that spoke more than a thousand words   
to her when she entered the arcade. She could feel his   
pain and loneliness and a raw emotion that made her look   
the other way.  
  
His heart leapt when he saw her coming in. For a moment,  
hope soared when she looked at him with curious eyes.  
Had she figured it out? Was she going to tell him how  
she felt? Was she going to tell him that she loved  
everything about Chiba Mamoru? But the minute he saw  
her sleeve being tugged by her friend and the minute  
she looked away, disappointment returned. Maybe she does  
not even want to dwell on the possibility that he and  
the hero are one man, he thought sadly.  
  
As Minako dragged Usagi into a nearby booth, Usagi stole  
a glance at Mamoru and blinked back tears. He had turned  
away after looking at her, and was now fumbling in his  
pockets for change to pay for his unfinished drink.  
  
'Oh Mamoru...Mamo-chan...could you ever forgive me?' She  
thought as she watched him leave. He paused at the door   
and turned around to look at her again. She gasped and  
quickly looked away. The pain in his eyes was overbearing.  
He turned back and slipped out of the arcade.  
  
Minako watched, amused. Usagi could never hide her   
feelings, and they always showed in her eyes clearly when   
her eyes fell upon Mamoru.  
  
"Usagi-chan, the girls and I are very worried about you.  
We've talked to Luna and frankly, they all thought I should  
be the one to talk to you." Minako buffed her nails and  
chuckled. "Since it -is- my department after all, ne?"  
  
Usagi's eyes grew large.  
  
Minako giggled. "I'll take that as a 'yes'. Usagi,"   
her tone grew serious, "even a blind man can see what's   
going on. It's not hard to figure out that you're in   
love. We're worried about why you're so sad when love is   
supposed to bring you the greatest joy."  
  
Usagi stayed silent and nodded. She could not stop   
thinking about the 'dream'. When Luna left the room, Usagi   
had thought about the possibility of Mamoru being Tuxedo   
Kamen. But how would he feel if he found out she was Sailor   
Moon? He would be disappointed for sure, knowing that she   
was nothing but a klutz who could barely pass school. With   
that, she dismissed the idea. Besides, Mamoru couldn't   
possibly be Tuxedo Kamen...or could he?  
  
"Usagi-chan?" Minako waved a delicate hand in front of   
Usagi's face.  
  
When Usagi snapped out of her thoughts, a knowing, yet   
sympathetic smile spread on Minako's lips.  
  
"Remember that, Usagi-chan, love is supposed to bring joy."   
She reached across the table and touched Usagi's hand lightly.  
  
"Not if you feel love for two people." Usagi whispered as   
tears welled up in her clouded eyes.  
  
"What?" Minako was first shocked, but her expression became   
one of understanding. "From what Luna's said and what we've   
noticed, one of them has got to be Tuxedo Kamen."  
  
Usagi blinked and a tear rolled down her cheek.  
  
"And I have a good idea of who the other man might be..."   
Minako grinned when Usagi turned pale with her mouth open.  
  
"Mamoru-baka." Minako whispered and almost laugh had she not  
seen the pain in Usagi's eyes.  
  
"How...how did you know?" Usagi whispered back.  
  
"Never question the Goddess of Love." Minako tossed her hair   
and smiled. "The way you look at him tells me everything. And   
may I add - he feels the same way about you too, am I right?"  
  
Minako received a sob as an answer.  
  
"Usagi-chan," Minako said softly, "I know this is hard for   
you, to feel so strongly for two people. I know you are afraid   
to hurt either one of them...but do you realize that you're   
hurting yourself? You're not betraying either men by loving   
them both. I understand that you want to love only one person   
and give your heart to him completely, but you have to know   
one thing."  
  
Minako took a deep breath and paused. Usagi waited eagerly.  
  
"Who do you love more?" Minako whispered.  
  
At the sound of the question, Usagi could not help but   
remember Mamoru asking her the very same thing. For a brief   
moment, Minako's face was replaced by Mamoru's, and like the   
answer that she had given Mamoru, she stayed silent and let   
her tears fall, as Minako wrapped an arm around her.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Stay tuned for Chapter 8 (untitled as of this moment)  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------  
  
A.N.: Woohoo! Finally another part out^_~! I hope you've   
enjoyed reading it. A small note to Arty: I do NOT always  
make Usagi and Mamoru break up in my fics *giggles* All  
fics, minus the original What Exactly Are We epilogue,  
end happily! *humph* so there! Anyways, special thanks  
to Usagi-chan, Bunny, Arty, Lelu, and everyone else who's  
written me. You know who you are! And I'm grateful^_^  
Please e-mail me at cupid_teacup@hotmail.com  
Arigato! 


End file.
